Saturday, May 3, 2008

Grades Are Done

Dear students: I've calculated your grades based on how much I like you. Not really. I based them on how much I dislike you. 

Confidential to the student who got a D: I let you write another draft of Paper 2, and I gave you a lot of feedback about it. It was still awful. You wasted my time, and if I ever see you on campus, I'm going to give you a really dirty look. But the D you earned. 

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Today, I drafted some material on "The Mystery of the Leaping Fish" (1916). I actually do think it's funny. Detective Coke Ennyday shows the crook a photograph and asks, "Is this you?" (It obviously is, right down to the glue-on mustache.)  The man replies, "Yep, that's me!" and escapes on an inflatable fish. I won't even mention the opium part. That and the "Jap"/Chinese conflation won't fit into the diss, but it would make a good article. Hurrah, Scientific Detective Ennyday!

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